Saturday, February 5, 2011

Stupid Computer Literacy test

So, I finally finished the stupid computer literacy test, Thank GOD!!!! So tired right now and need to get off of the computer but I feel compelled to be on it a bit longer, Dork.

Friday, February 4, 2011

My Unedited version of the next posting for LAC301

My next assignment for LAC 301 is to respond to Todd's posting and have something to say about a Liberal Arts education.  This is my unedited free-write in order to get my mind toward what I actually want to post for my assignment.

As I attend classes at Marylhurst I understand how a liberal arts education works.  (Find a better word than "works". )  I have never been the type of person who felt comfortable speaking up in class.  I never would do it.  Once I did when I was little and I was told I was wrong so it was hard for me to take the leap after that.  I don't like to be wrong.  Many, many times throughout my life as I speak my mind, I am told that I am wrong.  Or someone tries to change my mind.  I am not the type who like to argue, so I will buckle under before any confrontation occurs because it hurts me when people argue.  I'm much like my father that way.  It hurts him when people argue around him.  When he was hurt and people were down taking care of him, I told my sister that if she had to cry or anything, take it outside.  None of those emotional things were going to help Dad.  Then she and my brother had to go and argue in the other room and it hurt Dad so much.  He started crying.  He was in pain and needing our support but they could only think about themselves.  Perhaps this is why I think that when we don't allow people to express their opinions it is a way for us to be selfish.  Why can't people just talk freely and speak what they think without worrying about what another person will say?  I have found that in classes at Marylhurst I can say whatever I want to say, without someone judging me harshly.  I don't know if I have ever felt like I have been in that type of an environment before, and I like it.  I think, perhaps, that I speak too much in my literature class.  Perhaps those people are sick of listening to what I think.  But, you get graded on class participation, so I guess I don't care what they think.  As I speak in class, I am finding that the environment of Marylhurst, and thus, a liberal arts education, is helping me become the person that I want to be.  I have had it a goal of mine to be a more eloquent speaker.  I am constantly working at learning how to speak in public, considering that any time you speak to more than 1 person, you are speaking in public.  My goal of being able to explain my thinking and ideas eloquently, seems to be a part of my education at Marylhurst, which makes me very happy that I have teachers all around me who are helping me with this goal.  As one of the youngest members of a big family, I found out right away that I never got a chance to learn how to talk with groups of people.  I was never given a chance to talk, so I never learned how.  When talking, I am interrupted constantly. It is hard to be able to get a complete thought out of my mouth eloquently, because it is very seldom that I get a chance to do it.  I know that this is something that I have needed to work on, but since very few people let you finish a complete thought, a person never gets to finish a complete thought, from the introduction, through to the end.  In class, people actually let you finish talking.  It is weird sometimes; seeing those people stare at you.  But, since this is something I know that I need to work on, looking at the people staring at you is part of the process of working on it.  Don't you think?  The things I like about the Liberal Arts Education is that Liberal Arts Colleges are Student Focused, meaning that the classes are small and the teachers can give more one-on-one attention to the students.  It also means that the student directs a lot of the learning.  The teacher is there as the facilitator and to direct the conversations to go toward the learning so that the students still learn, but have more of a part in the learning.  When a student is directly part of the learning process, they internalize the lessons so each lesson is completely understood and put into practice right away.  Since the learning process and the lessons learned is now a part of each of us, we become a valued employee.  With our liberal arts education the learning is now a part of us and we have better communication skills, analysis skills, and a better understanding of how to work as a team.  Our school provides us with more of a broad education so we are more well-rounded educated people.  As we learn how to think independently we are able to make sound judgments, as Cronon explains in his article.  We can then see more possibilities for us out in the world, so our horizons are expanded beyond anything we thought possible for ourselves.  I'm excited to know that I will achieve this type of success.  As Cronon promises us; "to be liberally educated is to be transformed.  A liberal arts education frees your mind and helps you connect dots you never noticed before, so you can put your own field of study into a broader context.  It enables you to form opinions and judgments, rather than defer to an outside authority."  I'm excited that I will be able to put my field of study into a broader context.  I worry, though, that the status quo is not going be good enough, anymore.  As I learn and I learn how to free my mind, I might wonder how in the world I got to where I am in my life.  I worry that the people at work will frustrate me more than usual, and I will want to leave before I am financially ready to.  Well, I just won't let them bug me.  Things are going well this year, so I am not going to worry about something that may not happen.  There you go.  Anyway, is there anything here that I can put in my assignment?  Let me think.....

Monday, January 31, 2011

My eye problem

Still with this stupid eye problem, but it has changed.  The eye drops have helped and I can now wear my contacts. They were pretty sore by the end of the day, though, so I wore my glasses at PERC.  There is a pain behind my eye now.  Dull ache, I guess you would say.  I'm going to see the optho again, hopefully I can make the apt. for Wed.  I have that day off.  I'll let you know what's going on. Thanks for listening. 

Do you have any reservations about the success of this proposed marriage?

This is the question that I was stuck on when filling out the Canonical Prenuptial Investigation for Adele.  Good grief.  My feelings about this question was: 1> When do I NOT have reservations about ANYTHING?  I'm not a person who sees black and white, my world is full of gray.  Meaning...I always can see both sides of everything and cannot make up my mind about things very easily.  2> The success of this proposed marriage? when is a marriage a success? When it lasts the test of time?  What is the test? 5 years? 10? 20? 50?  How would I know what my daughter and her fiance will be like in 20 years? Or even 10 years for that matter?  3> What parent, in their right mind, doesn't have reservations about the decisions their children make?  I wouldn't be me, a worrier, a helicopter parent, if I didn't have reservations about the big decisions my kids make.  So lets rephrase that question: Do you have any reservations about the success of this proposed marriage that you would like to announce to the world?  NO.  Thank you.  I'm willing to keep my reservations between myself, my husband, my friends, my co-workers, ...oops.  that didn't sound very good.  OK, so I talk all the time about my reservations.  But I never say anything about how I don't think Adele is too young to get married, or too immature, or that Josh is a bad guy, or that he treats her badly.  I always say that I am proud of his family and their values.  I always say how much he and Adele seem to love each other.  The big complaint I have, and I WILL announce to the world, I DON'T LIKE THAT JOSH SMOKES.  No secret there.  If he would just quit smoking, I would feel so much better.  So, could I write on the Prenuptial Investigation that I have reservations because Josh smokes?  Try explaining that one.  I don't know how Adele stands it, to be honest.  I don't enjoy smelling bad smells.  He literally stinks when he comes in from smoking his disgusting cigarette.  But, anyway, I will answer that I have no reservations.  I believe in my daughter and that she is doing the right thing for herself and her future.  That she has faith in Josh that he will be a good provider for her and that income will combine with hers and make a better future for the two of them and their kids-to-be.  I put all of this in God's hands.  Please let it all work out.  Please let the dress be perfect and fit her perfectly.  Please let everything go without a hitch, but if there has to be a hitch, make it a good story to tell so we can all laugh.  An easy hitch to fix.  Do I have any reservations about the success of this proposed marriage?  See, I am so wishy washy I still can't say YES or NO to this question.  So, to simplify things, I will write, "No".  That way I don't have to go into detail and describe why I said YES.  Does that make me a bad mom, or a good one?

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Wedding Dress Ordered

Adele's wedding dress has been ordered.  I hope it will all work out in the end. I think this is a mistake to buy it this way.  On line.  Picking the color from a picture of a swatch of fabric.  Picking the style of dress without trying one on like it.  I will let you know how it goes.  The dress should be here by March 10th.  We will see. I hope I am wrong.  But if I'm not, it is a $250 mistake that will cost not only money but time.  If it doesn't work out, will there still be time to get another one?  ......................

My adventures

I don't know if I ever explained to you my title of my blog and why I call it Amy's Adventures in Wonderland.  Well, at the time I set this up I was reading Alice in Wonderland.  Reading that book is like taking a trip through an insane world.  Even though I understand how Lewis Carroll came up with each story within the book and how it had something to do with other things that were happening to them at Oxford, and people they knew at Oxford, I still feel like it was full of insanity.  It was a way for a little girl, Alice, to make sense of her adult world through the eyes of a little girl.  And, like my professor said, when things don't make sense, (you first think you are going crazy and then) you seem to attach a meaning to it, even if it doesn't make sense.  So each of these adventures that Alice created in her dream was a way to make sense of her world.  Well, I am constantly going through things that I have to make sense of.  My life right now seems like an adventure, or insanity, you get to choose the right terminology.  Even at this moment Mark is talking to me from the other room wanting me to have an input into the thesis of his paper for class.  Last term I had to help him write papers when I had no background knowledge of the assignment or what the paper was even saying.  I had to make sense out of nonsense.  This term he is taking Shakespeare.  He said, "You are a literature major, what are they talking about?" I am a literature major.  I have taken my very first literature class this term.  This TERM.  I am supposed to know everything about literature because I wrote down on a sheet of paper that I want to major in it? Now I know how Adele felt when she was in her first year of Nursing School and she was asked questions about health issues.  She would just bullshit her way through the answer.  She would act like she knew the answer and then the person thought she was genius.  I know I've bullshitted my way through many things in my life and at my work.  People don't need to know you don't know things if you can bullshit your way through.  Anyway, my adventures through this world of wonder consists of living through my first year of college, Mark's first year of college, my daughter getting married, my sister realizing she is mentally ill and the things she is remembering is not reality, my friends going through cancer treatments, my niece realizing her mental illness is not bi-polar but a personality disorder, my sister realizing that her daughter is not bi-polar because if she was she wouldn't think she was, she would think she wasn't, and the duplicity of some of the people at work.  Remember, when a person has to make sense of something they first think they are going crazy and then they assign a meaning to it, even if it doesn't make sense.  Just so something in their life makes sense. Even though it doesn't.  So here's another insane thing that Mark said as I was sitting in the front room writing things down to get ready to write a paper.  Now remember...we are both going to the same writing intensive school.  A school that is known for being writing intensive...and I AM a LITERATURE major.  OK...he said, "Gosh you write a lot. I look at you and you are always writing."  Really?  And I am serious...he wasn't kidding me.  Wasn't being sarcastic.  He was being observant and putting me down...or so I felt...for writing so much.  The sentence didn't make sense, so I assigned a meaning to it... he was saying, "????????" I have no idea.  I sit here and try to make meaning out of it and I just can't.  Now he is yelling from the other room.  Am I supposed to say something to that?  Nope.  Now he is in Adam's room talking to him. Thank God.  Lisa says I should just speak my mind because people can deal with it, they can take it.  I don't agree with her.  I don't think people can take it.  And also, my eye is still bugging me.  I don't think it is allergies.  I'm going to see if my eyes can take my contacts tomorrow, and if they can't I'm going back to the eye doc.  So I'm sure I will.  It has been hurting today.  No more itching, just a pain in the back of the eye.  It doesn't sound too good does it?  We will see tomorrow, though.  Maybe I just have a different type of head ache then I have ever had before.  My adventures in wonderland will include my (trying to) make sense of so many strange things in my life.  If I can't make sense of it, I will first think I am insane and then assign a meaning, even if it makes no sense. 

Saturday, January 29, 2011

I'm hungry

I'm going to go get something to eat now.  I am going to put a movie on and eat some left over pizza.  Adele posted her food intake for the day on Web MD. Crap, a sandwich wrap at appleby's is over 1000 calories.  Insane!  I'm very proud of Adele, she is sticking with her exercise and diet plan. Good Job Honey!  Incentives work great, don't they?  You say bribery I say incentives, potato pototo.  Whatever.  it works.